Conquer Peer Pressure in Graduate School

When I was in undergraduate, I felt that I had the golden key in hand to a bright future. I got so much to learn and so much opportunities would emerge in front of me once I graduated. Many others gave me the similar impression. They seemed rather excited. Maybe one of the reasons most of us were enthusiastic about college life was because of the freedom. It was the first time many of us had total freedom from the surveillance of our parents.

Photo by Stephen Arnold 

It was around this time that I began to feel more pressure from my peers. Maybe because I was mostly molded by my parents and teachers prior to that. So now suddenly when my parents were not there anymore, and teachers gave us so much trust to do things on our own, I became more conscious about how other students were dealing with things. After the first one or two semesters, most of us found our way to lead a normal life on campus. Then suddenly it seemed all of us wanted to be the star students on campus. We wanted to have multiple degrees, and also participated in as many student clubs as possible. But I was not overwhelmed by the peer pressure. I knew I had many options and I did not have to enroll in certain major or courses.

Things gradually changed once I started graduate school. Graduate school is hard (most majors). People in science and engineering need to do lab work and projects constantly. Those in humanity majors need to read tons of books and papers. Ask any graduate student you know, you will probably hear them complaining about their deteriorating eye sights and aching neck and back. Most graduate students are quite busy during the week. When I was in graduate school, most of the time when I met a fellow student, our greetings often began with questions like: “have you finished reading that paper?” or “How is research?”

As time went by, it felt guilty if I did something for fun instead of working on research. Gradually, my life was occupied by papers, projects, grant applications, and publications. When graduation came closer and it was time to apply for jobs, many who intended to leave academia and go to industry were almost looked down at. It seemed we were expected to work in academia after graduation. This expectation was especially high in humanity majors. In some departments, they only offered professional training sessions to their graduating students on how to look for academic jobs. I was lucky that my professor even recommended me to get a job in industry, so I never felt bad talking to him after graduation.

Only when looking back did I realize how much peer pressure I felt during my graduate school. Another factor that made peer pressure more imposing in graduate school was the narrow social circles we were in. Graduate school is at the top of the education system and has the least number of students. So we lived and worked within a small circle of nerds. There is a reason why they are called nerds. In reality most of their days are rather monotonous. In such small circles, it is easier to keep track of others’ accomplishments and to become self-conscious.

If I knew peer pressure would be so strong in graduate school, I would have tried to keep my mind cool. To stick to my own research plan, but also set a limit to it in order to have a life.